“I know of a house that’s about to go on the market,” the real estate agent told us. My husband and I were tired and ready to give up the search in this area, a bit further north than I wanted to be.

The agent called ahead and got permission for us to stop by. The owners were home and welcomed us like old friends; they seemed like a nice, low-key couple. They explained they’d bought a house down South and had been spending the winters there.

“I can’t stand the cold winters anymore,” the husband, Ken, confessed.

It was…

“It was something I learned by watching my mother,” she told me. “I imagine her mother taught her.”

I watched my mother put on her makeup, sitting before an elegant dresser with a special triple mirror and tiny drawers hidden behind latticed doors. It had been made for my mother by a craftsman for the Emperor of Japan’s relative. He made a copy for Mother when she was newly married and lived in Occupied Japan right after the Second World War.

Mother carefully drew a thick red line across her lips, her stroke quick and sure, as if she had…

Obedience is something we learn (or learn to rebel against) as children. It’s drilled into us in kindergarten or first grade: “line up, no talking, hands at your sides, don’t touch that.”

I was reminded of this when we moved into our new house and I met the neighbors. Turns out the wife teaches first grade. I guessed she was a teacher when we met, though. She had that “do as I say,” attitude.

The first words out of her mouth weren’t “hello, nice to meet you,” but —

“Oh good, you can take care of our dog. He runs…

Years ago, I worked as a nursing assistant in a long-term care facility, a job I loved. Every night, I had 28 residents to feed, bathe, and get to bed. A few of them would wake up during the night, usually about 2:00 or 3:00 a.m.

I’d ask a question or two, and listen to their stories.

My husband and I had just separated. He came up on weekends to see the children. He didn’t want to spend money on a hotel, so I prepped meals and worked double shifts all weekend. He refused to give up his girlfriend, and…

We started off the marriage with good intentions.

We wanted a house with a yard, to raise our 1.5 children (a three year old and one on the way), but couldn’t afford anything close to Manhattan. We decided to adapt, and expand our search. I’d freelance from home, and my husband would handle a longer commute.

We looked for months. Finally, I found a house we could afford. “But it’s two hours away,” I worried.

My husband decided he’d stay with his parents during the week and come up on weekends. Remembering how his mother had bragged about breaking up…

My husband and I were in Las Vegas, where my sister-in-law was dying of lung cancer. We’d responded to an anguished phone call from her daughter, asking for help. Hopefully, my sister-in-law might have a couple of months yet. We booked a one-way ticket to Nevada, planning to be there for the duration.

With that in mind, I’d arranged for my other children to keep an eye on their nonverbal younger brother, in his Westchester County group home. He had a busy life, between Day Hab, volunteer jobs, trips to the gym, regular swimming classes and community events. …

Think You Can Stop Parents From Advocating For Their Children? Unlikely.

Let’s speak out against injustice, while we still can, loudly and often. Because there are bullies in state legislatures, and in Congress, trying to take that right away from us.

It’s a civil right, guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, which still stands, for now. I use it pretty frequently. Mostly, because I have an adult child with developmental disabilities residing in a New York State group home.

Like other parents, I learned long ago that those who can’t speak, like my son Joe, need advocates to speak for them…

When Kind Friends Set Us On The Path To Healing, And Something More

Khesed, as explained by Jon Collins and Tim Mackie in the Bible Project, is basically a generous and loving person who keeps his (or her) promises. That definition is one our limited human understanding can grasp. Someone who’s kind, keeps their word.

But khesed is so much more, and mostly, it’s not about us at all. Once we realize that, it takes a lot of the pressure off.

For the past twenty-three years, I’ve been listening to the Lord and writing down what I hear. I was…