The Dirt On Online Dating For Women Over 35
When I was 25, I worked for a film production company in Los Angeles, and did some freelance writing on the side. Just for fun, since I was in LA, I took an acting course, to learn more about actors. I never wanted to be one, just to understand things from their perspective.
I ended up meeting a lot of smart, driven, hard-working young professionals who were exploring their chosen career with the kind of passion teens usually reserve for their first true love. They were pretty inspiring, wow. And they taught me a lot.
I met one young man who was taking film classes, as well as acting.
“I’m almost 22,” he explained. “If I don’t get a break soon, I’ve got to be prepared to make a living on the other side of the camera. Just in case.”
“What’s the cut-off date, for an actor?” I was curious.
“”Oh, definitely 25,” he said, “so I’ve gotta hustle my butt off.”
Young actors were pidgeonholed into that 18–25 group. Casting directors loved young-looking 18 year olds who could work like adults but pass for 13. Age mattered. The young had no power, but most of the jobs.
Fast forward a few decades, and I’m working on the East Coast, writing full-time and raising children. My older son decides to be an actor.
“What if you don’t make it by the time you’re 25?” I asked.
He gave me a strange look. “Then I’ll keep trying. If you’re an actor, you don’t just stop at a certain age. You keep learning, you find a way.”
I liked that. You keep living, keep doing what you feel is right.
So, when I started online dating in my fifties, I was looking for men my age with similar interests. But I soon found out, that wasn’t what most of them were looking for. Scanning their profiles, I was surprised to see most men in their fifties, my age, were looking for a woman around age 35. As one of them put it, “because I might want to have children someday.”
This was a pudgy, middle-aged balding man with a comb-over.
“Buddy, I think that ship has sailed,” I told myself.
Surely, every guy out there wasn’t living in fantasy land. I’d just have to keep looking. The guy who was right for me would have to be just as determined to find the right mate as my son was to find the right role.